Letter to my children series : Rules for pleasure.
Experiencing pleasures in life is like walking through a hotel corridor. I am heading towards a destination to attend a meeting. However, there are many rooms along the corridor. Imagine that these hotels rooms are not occupied and I am free to explore these rooms, from the Presidential suite to the junior suites.
And there are gyms, sauna and a relaxing swimming in the hotel. I may take a refreshing swim before I proceed for my meeting. Besides, I need to be mindful of the feelings of my loved ones and that some rooms are strictly prohibited. And I should not indulge in my swim or sauna, otherwise I may not reach my meeting venue on time.
Dr. Ravi Zacharias, a renowned philosopher and apologist shared that there is indeed a guiding principles on experiencing pleasures in life.
He quoted from F.W. Boreham , 3 rules for experiencing pleasure.
1) Whatever that refreshes us but does not compromise our final goal/purpose in life is a legitimate pleasure.
2) Any pleasure that jeopardize the sacred rights of another person is an illegitimate pleasure.
3) Experience pleasures in moderate amounts and do not indulge.
Rule No. 1 :
Simple pleasures which help us to relax and gives us joy are legitimate needs. However, it should not compromise our value system or lead us away from our desired purpose in life.
So what’s the catch here? We need to discover “What is our final goal or purpose in life?”
Rule No. 2 :
We need to experience pleasures within the boundaries of mutual respect and observing the dignity of our loved ones as well as our fellow human beings.
Rule No. 3 :
We need to enjoy pleasures in reasonable and moderate degree and amount to avoid indulgence or addiction.
Pleasures without conscience are illegitimate pleasures
In the month of July 2014, when all of you were still very young, I wonder if you remember that we spend really good time watching the movie “ Frozen”.
And Daddy remember this early scene where one of the princess, while playing with her sister, fell and injured her head and became unconscious. Her parents was in a state of panic and quickly rushed her to meet the great healer in the kingdom.
And here is what the healer said to the King, “ King, you are lucky, it is not the heart, the heart is not so easily change but the head can be persuaded”
Daddy would presumed that the word "heart" in the movie was referred as the centre of human emotions and desires.
Each day, we are confronted with events which requires us to make good choices. And we need to exercise both our mind, emotions(feelings) and our soul to make good and wise choices or decisions. There will always be a tug of war between your soul , mind and the emotions. Always remember that our emotions are often instinctive, intuitive as well as reactive. The human emotions cares more for the human survival, eg anger, fear, love, lust and pleasures. Meanwhile the human mind are very vulnerable and may be easily hijacked by our emotions. So, who can rescue us from the power of our emotions?
It is the soul or sometimes referred as the conscience. The soul seeks not the wisdom of the limited human mind but the ultimate wisdom from the great Truths and the wisdom of the Creator.
Therefore, my beloved children, Daddy urges all of you to give the highest priority to the voices of the inner soul , more than the mind or the feelings, in your daily choices.
This morning, while I was working, there was a strange feeling in me. It was a brief moment of feeling low and down. So I began to search deeper within me to find out the cause.
But the cause was not immediately obvious to me. I wondered whether I was feeling a little anxious about a chairing session which i was not fully prepared on the coming Thursday.
So I did a quick search on the speaker's profile and got all the info that i need to introduced the speaker for that day.
Perhaps it was something else that trigger that feeling. Guess what? I feel much better towards the later part of the day.
So I concluded that an anxious moment may make us feel low sometimes. And it is absolutely okay to feel anxious and low mood for brief moments. Life is a series of ups, downs and neutral or peaceful moments. We cannot be happy and ecstatic all the time.
I also realized that the the driving force for each waking day is my awareness of personal passion.
So what motivates us each moment in our day?
1) The pearls of wisdom i gain from every client I see.
2) The unique experiences that each client presents to me.
3) Support from our working team mates.
4) Each daily experience help me to feel nearer to my Creator. Be it joyful moments or moments of pain and grief.
5) Soothing Music which accompanies me even as i journey the day
6) Gestures of thanks and appreciation from the people whom we have helped
7) Looking forward for a hug or smile from our loved ones or friends ( Relationships )
I believe these will make each moment counts. Each moment meaningful.
Daddy just want you all to know that life is like playing a game. It is almost like a treasure hunt.
The problem in life is that you cannot choose where to start the game. Some people are born in the developed countries e.g. America or Australia while others are born in less developed countries. Some people are fortunate to have nurturing families while others may be deprived of basic physical or emotional needs.
Nevertheless, there will be a time when you will attain the ability to THINK, and take control of your own mind and thoughts. This is the time for you to learn and master the Game of Life.
In any games, there are Rules to follow. This means that there are certain behaviors that are not encouraged and you will need to exercise self-restraint. Otherwise your winnings will be considered invalid or you will be disqualified.
If you continue to think and do the right thing, you will collect Reward points as you progresses in the game of life. And there is a purpose and a goal in the game. In Treasure Hunt, the purpose of the game is to uncover the hidden treasures.
Look out for trusted team player in your game. Journey together as a team until you reach your final goal. Never play the game alone.
“If you want to get warm you must stand near the fire: if you want to be
wet you must get into the water. If you want joy, power, peace, eternal
life, you must get close to, or even into, the thing that has them.”
There was a young girl in her early 20’s who was feeling very sad and dejected. She cries each day as she nursed her deep emotional hurts and pain. The pain of being rejected by her boyfriend. The pain of rejecting her own self. She wrestles with intense feelings of guilt and regrets. She was experiencing a breakup in her relationship. This is her second failed relationship.When she was young, she have always felt that she is the “black sheep” in her family.
Why are there so much rejection in this world? Human being are not products , goods or comodity. We may reject damaged goods, imperfect products or poor quality crops. But the way we treat human being should never be like the way we handle manufacturing items.
We need to learn to be more nurturing and accepting. We need to be less self-centered. There must be more understanding and sensitivity. As parents, loving our children is not enough. We need to love, accept and respect themunconditionally.
Many a times, as parents, we either consciously or unconsciously expressed conditional love and care to our children. It’s like “ if I do this to you, I expect this in return” or “ if you do not listen to me, then I don’t love you”.
Unconditional love is rare and endangered nowadays. To love unconditionally is to love without a personal agenda.It means the willingness and ability to extend ourselves to accept someone for who they are and not what they have done or not done. It is loving and accepting someone without expecting anything in return. It is respecting a person who is worthy in their own ways.It is accepting a person’s strengths and weaknesses. It is the only ingredient for a human being to grow and achieve their full potential.