Tuesday, 29 December 2015

Guilt : The powerful emotion


Healthy sense of guilt help us to reflect on our mistakes.  We could then rectify it and move on in life.

Unhealthy guilt or excessive guilt could wreck our emotions leading to excessive self blame, painful regrets or even severe depressive state.

Many a times, the feelings of guilt is so strong and overwhelming even though there is no evidence of wrong doing !!  This is called irrational or illogical guilt.

Some of us may have certain temperament or higher tendency to feel guilty.  It may be due to a harsh self-critical tendency or high expectations of self. It could be due to difficult childhood experiences.

However, the absence of guilt feelings may spell danger too. It may result in extreme self-righteousness  with no regards for what is right or wrong!

So what is the key element ?

1) Seek and understand the Truth about what is right and wrong.

2) Understand that none of us is perfect. We all make mistakes and learn from it daily.

3) Knowing that we only need to do the right thing and not to please anyone's expectations.

4) Knowing that we just need to try.  And do what we CAN DO. Not what we cannot do.

So folks, I shall leave you with my favourite quote by Mother Teresa.

Thursday, 16 April 2015

Letter from Father series

My beloved children, this video clip is meaningful for Daddy. Please view it with an open mind and heart. :)


Tuesday, 24 February 2015

The Rules for Pleasure

Letter to my children series : Rules for pleasure.

Experiencing pleasures in life is like walking through a hotel corridor. I am heading towards a destination to attend a meeting. However, there are many rooms along the corridor. Imagine that these hotels rooms are not occupied and I am free to explore these rooms, from the Presidential suite to the junior suites.

And there are gyms, sauna and a relaxing swimming in the hotel. I may take a refreshing swim before I proceed for my meeting. Besides, I need to be mindful of the feelings of my loved ones and that some rooms are strictly prohibited. And I should not indulge in my swim or sauna, otherwise I may not reach my meeting venue on time.

Dr. Ravi Zacharias, a renowned philosopher and apologist shared that there is indeed a guiding principles on experiencing pleasures in life.

He quoted from F.W. Boreham , 3 rules for experiencing pleasure.

1) Whatever that refreshes us but does not compromise our final goal/purpose in life is a legitimate pleasure.

2) Any pleasure that jeopardize the sacred rights of another person is an illegitimate pleasure.

3) Experience pleasures in moderate amounts and do not indulge.

Rule No. 1 : 

Simple pleasures which help us to relax and gives us joy are legitimate needs. However, it should not compromise our value system or lead us away from our desired purpose in life.

So what’s the catch here? We need to discover “What is our final goal or purpose in life?”

Rule No. 2 : 

We need to experience pleasures within the boundaries of mutual respect and observing the  dignity of our loved ones as well as our fellow human beings.

Rule No. 3 : 

We need to enjoy pleasures in reasonable and moderate degree and amount to avoid  indulgence or addiction.  

Pleasures without conscience are illegitimate pleasures 
                                                                                                             Mahatma Gandhi

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

The Inner War

The Inner War : 2

My beloved children,

In the month of July 2014, when all of you were still very young, I wonder if you remember that we spend really good time watching the movie “ Frozen”.

And Daddy remember this early scene where one of the princess, while playing with her sister, fell and injured her head and became unconscious. Her parents was in a state of panic and quickly rushed her to meet the great healer in the kingdom. And here is what the healer said to the King, “ King, you are lucky, it is not the heart, the heart is not so easily change but the head can be persuaded”

Daddy would presumed that the word "heart" in the movie was referred as the centre of human emotions and desires.

Each day, we are confronted with events which requires us to make good choices. And we need to exercise both our mind, emotions(feelings) and our soul to make good and wise choices or decisions. There will always be a tug of war between your soul , mind and the emotions. Always remember that our emotions are often instinctive, intuitive as well as reactive. The human emotions cares more for the human survival, eg anger, fear, love, lust and pleasures. Meanwhile the human mind are very vulnerable and may be easily hijacked by our emotions. So, who can rescue us from the power of our emotions?

It is the soul or sometimes referred as the conscience. The soul seeks not the wisdom of the limited human mind but the ultimate wisdom from the great Truths and the wisdom of the Creator.

Therefore, my beloved children, Daddy urges all of you to give the highest priority to the voices of the inner soul , more than the mind or the feelings, in your daily choices.

With unconditional love



Tuesday, 27 May 2014

Meaningful moments

This morning, while I was working, there was a strange feeling in me. It was a brief moment of feeling low and down. So I began to search deeper within me to find out the cause.

But the cause was not immediately obvious to me. I wondered whether I was feeling a little anxious about a chairing session which i was not fully prepared on the coming Thursday.

So I did a quick search on the speaker's profile and got all the info that i need to introduced the speaker for that day.

Perhaps it was something else that trigger that feeling. Guess what?  I feel much better towards the later part of the day.

So I concluded that an anxious moment may make us feel low sometimes. And it is absolutely okay to feel anxious and low mood for brief moments. Life is a series of ups, downs and neutral or peaceful moments. We cannot be happy and ecstatic all the time.

I also realized that the the driving force for each waking day is my awareness of personal passion.

So what motivates us each moment in our day?

1) The pearls of wisdom i gain from every client I see.
2) The unique experiences that each client presents to me.
3) Support from our working team mates.
4) Each daily experience help me to feel nearer to my Creator. Be it joyful moments or moments of pain and grief.
5) Soothing Music which accompanies me even as i journey the day
6) Gestures of thanks and appreciation from the people whom we have helped
7) Looking forward for a hug or smile from our loved ones or friends ( Relationships )

I believe these will make each moment counts. Each moment meaningful.


Monday, 31 March 2014

Life is a Game

Letters to my children : 1

Life is a Game

My beloved children,

Daddy just want you all to know that life is like playing a game. It is almost like a treasure hunt.

The problem in life is that you cannot choose where to start the game. Some people are born in the developed countries e.g. America or Australia while others are born in less developed countries. Some people are fortunate to have nurturing families while others may be deprived of basic physical or emotional needs.

Nevertheless, there will be a time when you will attain the ability to THINK, and take control of your own mind and thoughts. This is the time for you to learn and master the Game of Life.

In any games, there are Rules to follow. This means that there are certain behaviors that are not encouraged and you will need to exercise self-restraint. Otherwise your winnings will be considered invalid or you will be disqualified.

If you continue to think and do the right thing, you will collect Reward points as you progresses in the game of life.   And there is a purpose and a goal in the game. In Treasure Hunt, the purpose of the game is to uncover the hidden treasures.

Look out for trusted team player in your game. Journey together as a team until you reach your final goal. Never play the game alone.

With Love

“If you want to get warm you must stand near the fire: if you want to be wet you must get into the water. If you want joy, power, peace, eternal life, you must get close to, or even into, the thing that has them.”
C.S. Lewis

Friday, 6 December 2013